This is an assignment for my Story Revision Class. More info after the story.
This was a predictable night to Angie so far. Predictable, but inevitable. She knew her partner, Milo, would get drunk at the high school reunion. They tend to drink when in uncomfortable situations, and at least 60% of the people at the reunion were Milo’s exes. Angie didn’t blame Milo for drinking, but they really overdid it.
Disappointing, but not surprising.
As Milo made a fool of themselves at the reunion, Angie stood by the food table and browsed twitter. However, Twitter wasn’t quite the escape she needed, as her timeline was filled with news articles about another mass shooting and obnoxious film discourse. She started to stress eat, indulging in her cravings for cupcakes and guava pastries. They weren’t just like mom used to make, but they would suffice for now.
Angie heard a familiar scream coming from the dance floor. She rushed over to see Milo getting beat up by a man way bigger than Milo.
“Goddammit, not again,” Angie muttered to herself. She tried to get in between Milo and their assailant, but instead got on the receiving end of one of the giant man’s punches. Angie was knocked onto the floor, blood coming from her nose and mouth.
“Don’t you hit my fucking girlfriend!” Milo yelled. He swung at the man but missed, losing his balance and falling face first onto the dance floor. Milo was ready to get back up until he felt a hand on his back.
“Milo…let’s just go,” Angie said.
“But—”
“Now.”
They helped each other up and headed out of the auditorium.
The car ride home was silent for a bit, until it wasn’t.
“Heh heh, I guess you could say there was blood on the dance floor,” Milo said. Angie wasn’t having it.
“You think this is funny?”
“Well a little bit—”
“Well it’s not, Milo! It’s not fucking funny! You see, this is why we don’t go out. You always get drunk and do something stupid, and then we have to leave before one of us has to go to the hospital. And that’s if we’re lucky.”
“Don’t you even want to know why I got into that fight? That guy was one of my exes and he was—”
“I don’t care Milo! I don’t care why you got into that fight! I couldn’t care less. God, I knew this would happen and yet I’m still angry.”
“Wow, you knew this would happen…way to have faith in your partner Angie.”
“It’s hard to have faith in you when you constantly fuck up!”
Things got quiet again.
Milo was staring at Angie with misty eyes, but she made a point to keep her eyes on the road. Milo may not be a genius, but they can take a hint. They directed their attention outside the window, getting lost in the dark blur of the trees they were passing. If they’re mind wasn’t preoccupied with other things, they may have noticed the two glowing red dots. Then again, they were only there for a split second, so they may not have.
They reached the first red light in three miles and Angie sighed.
“Look…I’m sorry okay. That wasn’t right of me to say. I’m not going to pretend like I was lying, but just because I was being honest doesn’t mean I was right. I…I need to see the good in things, the good in you, more often. I just…focus so much on negative patterns that I ignore the positive ones. Does that make sense?”
Milo turned their attention back to Angie.
“Yeah, that makes sense. I’m sorry too. You’re right to be mad at me for all this. I act like a teenager with something to prove and I don’t know why. I have to grow up and try to be…better I guess. No, not try; I’m going to be better. Not just for you, but for me too. For us.”
Angie and Milo looked at each other and smiled for the first time in hours. Angie gently grabbed Milo’s hand and kissed it. The light turned green, and in a matter of no time they were home.
The car ride was quiet again, but this time it was okay.
When Angie got out of the car, she noticed that the door to their house was slightly open. She gestured at Milo to be quiet, and they both slowly crept up to the door. Angie pushes the door and it falls off it’s hinges. She reminds Milo to stay quiet, and they tiptoe to their living room. Angie turns on her phone flashlight, and almost immediately drops it.
“Oh my god!” she yelled.
“What is it?”
Angie didn’t respond. Her hands were covering her mouth and her eyes were watering. Milo picked up the phone and shone it at what she saw. Milo understood her shock when he made out the corpse sitting on their couch. It was propped up with its left arm resting on the back pillow of the couch, and its right leg crossing over its left. The body had its face peeled off and a giant hole in its stomach. Its internal organs were missing, and inside was a piece of paper. Milo slowly inched towards it and read the paper aloud.
“It just says, ‘have fun,’ and there’s a little smiley face drawn on it,” they said.
“What the fuck does that mean?” Angie yelled. She was bawling now.
“I—I don’t know…but I think I recognize this guy somehow? It, no, he, looks like Ryan…”
“Who?”
“The guys I was fighting at the reunion…”
We had to write an 800-1200 word first draft of an inciting incedent. We’re going to be working on this for a good chunk of the semester, so I’ll probably posting multiple versions of this.
For this draft, we had to choose from a list of templates. I chose this one:
“Discovering the body
Minor character 1 and Minor character 2 are in a long-term romantic relationship. They have been out at a social engagement together, where at least one of them has had a little too much to drink.
They return home from the engagement especially late. They are arguing.
Nothing seems amiss as they enter their home. They continue arguing. At some point, however, within the first few minutes of their arrival, they discover Mysterious Character, who may or may not be known to them, dead on their sofa. They react.”
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